The airline announced they were looking for two people to give up their seats and move to the emergency exit rows. Bob’s reaction: Duh! He was the first in line to volunteer. Even stretching my legs as far as they reach, I can’t touch the seat in front of me. The woman next to me thinks I’m crazy – I can just hear her thoughts: “Why on earth is she taking a picture of her feet?” She is ordering another drink and trying to look the other way. |
| Shahana |
What to do with all this space and two hours of time until landing? I think I will review my saved emails from Roomster.com where I have pretended to be Marie and posted a listing for an apartment share in Dallas, where Marie will be working this summer. First there’s Shahana, 23 years old, looking for an apartment to share near Dallas. 7 emails from her, with increasingly desperate tones. “OMG Marie! We were meant to be roommates! Our profiles are almost identical! We are both considerate and respectful!” … “Marie, call me! We need to be roommates! Here is my phone number, and email address!” … “Marie why haven’t you called? Send me your email address and phone number and I’ll call you!!” … “Text me in the next half hour! We HAVE to talk!” OK, I don’t think so. Next!
How about Ray? The friendly computers at Roomster say Marie and Ray would be a good match. 30 year old professional seeking the same. I viewed his profile and somehow it alerted him. I got an email back almost immediately: “Well Hello there! Let me tell you my life story! My partner had to leave suddenly to take care of some personal business and I got stuck with all the bills. He is coming back, I am sure, I just don’t know when. So I need to rent out a room for $650/month, utilities included, to help pay the bills. I am a professional and describe myself as very clean.
I work long hours as the manager of Olive Garden – you won’t even know I am here. Your room has a lot of my partner Bobby’s things in it, and it also has a picture of Jesus on the wall. I’ll move the things out when you arrive, but the Jesus picture stays. I have three pets and a dog. (What is the dog, I wonder, if not a pet? What are the other pets, if not dogs?) There are lots of people who are interested so let me know soon if you’d like to rent the room.” Hmmm. I suppose if Bobby comes home early Marie can move to the couch for the rest of the summer. Unless that is where the three pets and the dog stay.
This next one looks promising. Sort of. 25 year old female, 4 bedroom furnished house in Lewisville, about ½ hour outside of Dallas for $500/month, utilities included. Has a dog (Huskie) and a cat (some special breed that doesn’t cause allergies in most people). Average cleanliness, respectful and considerate, gets up between 6 AM and 8 AM, works a regular schedule weekdays in a professional job in sales, goes to bed between 10 and midnight. For fun, likes taking the dog on walks to the park and going to the Renaissance Faire. Huh? Doesn’t party too much -- just every now and then on the weekend. I send a response back: “Are you OK with just a summer rental? Are there any other people living in the house besides you? Is there parking available?” I want to ask if she dresses in Renaissance costumes around the house but I hold back. She replies, “Summer only is fine. There is another girl here, also 19. Parking is available in the driveway or on the street. The other girl got in an accident and her car is disabled in the garage, so you can’t park there.” “Can you tell me about the other roommate?”, I inquire. No response. I wait a couple of days. No response. I don’t want to ask again for fear I will begin to sound like Shahana. Finally an email arrives – “Why don’t you give me a call? It will be easier to discuss over the phone.” Mystery. Drama. Maybe not.
Oh, good, here is the response from the corporate housing locator service. “We have lots of wonderful 1 bedroom apartments that meet your needs. They have gyms, pools, and beautiful furnishings in gated complexes close to Irving. Everything you could ask for, including an iron and ironing board. All for just $2,100 per month, plus an additional $90/month for internet service, $75/month for basic cable, $30/month for parking space, $400 non-refundable remodeling fee, etc. etc. etc.” Such a deal! Why look any further? The Econolodge extended stay plan at $39/night is starting to look better and better. Room with flat screen TV, king-size bed, executive desk and chair, and kitchenette complete with basic utensils. Double security lock provided at no extra charge; weekly maid service available too. Washer and dryer conveniently located next to the ice machine and snack shop. Social hour every Thursday night in the parking lot. BYOB. Good luck, Marie! So sorry we will be incommunicado on the Adriatic Sea when you arrive in Dallas and have to make a choice between these fine options!
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