Don't you just love the sound of it? Other People's Money, OPiuM, the new drug of choice for the American crowd. I am tired of everyone using my money. I want to feel fully American. Patriotic even. I NEED to use OPM. It's my right!!! Since I don't qualify for the normal entitlement programs (yet), I have to figure out other ways to get access to the your money.
How about this: I go out to dinner with my Dad, but cleverly forget to bring my wallet! Thanks Dad! I'll pay you back later! (See, I already sound like a politician!)
Or maybe this: I am invited for an afternoon visit to Tahoe with my friend who has rented a fabulous house on the lake's edge. Hey Bruce! Glad to see you! Let's have a drink! Oh, shoot! I left all the wine at home, and I had a really good bottle, too! Darn! What? You have some? Ok, I'll try just a little. (Hours pass) WooHoo! This sure is a nice placsh! Hiccup! I can't find my car keys! Hiccup! Where could they be? I thinth I will need to stay over night. Hiccup! zzzzzzzz....
Then there's vendor largess: Wow! Thanks for these free skybox tickets to the Sharks games! Sure I'll send some business your way! You betcha! Hey, can you pass the chicken wings and Dove bars? Who are you anyway? Do I know you?
Taking advantage of neighbors is always good: Hi Amy, just wanted to drop by and leave you with these lovely roses I picked (from Lena's garden). Yumm! It smells good in here! Did I catch you at dinner time? The fabulous smells of your great cooking are making me hungry! I wish I could make dinner too, but my stove and refrigerator are broken. Such a pity! Oh no, no! I wouldn't dream of intruding! Well, if you insist! Isn't it lucky I also have these gladlock containers in my purse for the leftovers?
More neighborly love - best if left in a note pinned to the front door, while your neighbor is out getting his Saturday morning coffee: Hi Brian! Buddy! How's it going? Hey man, I hope you don't mind, this morning I needed to borrow your lawn mower, pressure washer, tool chest, barbecue, and chainsaw. Took them with me to Mariposa - see you Sunday night! Have a good one, man! By the way, can you take care of our dogs this weekend? Food's in the pantry, but if you run out, get the jumbo size bag at Safeway and I'll pay you back later!
Ahhh. I am really liking this OPiuM business. I am starting to feel just like a real American. Everyone should have the opportunity to walk a mile in someone else's shoes! Speaking of which, who might have some shoes I can borrow? Ma-rieeeeeee!
